Love & Dating

Why LOVE can sometimes be a four letter word

Posted on by angelbrew

Yesterday, I had the good fortune of being a random recipient of a dozen roses from some nice guy in downtown Salt Lake City. I happened to be in the right place at the right time. He was gifting lovely pink, red, and white roses to women at random as sort of a token gift for Valentines Day.

I noticed him standing by his Suburban with these beautiful pink roses in his hand. My first thought was, “Awww, how sweet! He got flowers for his wife!” [I did notice that he had a wedding ring on]. I wondered if he noticed that I didn’t have a wedding ring adorning my hand and if that is the reason he approached me. As he started to walk my way, I honestly thought he was going to ask for directions or some other type of assistance. I find I have a very approachable face. People stop and ask me for things all the time (and I don’t mind helping…if I can).

“Excuse me?” He leaned forward slightly at the hip, bringing the flowers closer to his chest.

“Yes?” I queried, waiting for the “Can you help me find…” or “Do you think you could…” Instead, I was taken aback by his reply.

“I just thought you could enjoy these (extends the flowers towards me). A beautiful woman like you deserves something lovely for Valentines Day.”

I was speechless as I wrapped my hands around the cellophane casing. “Um, wow, thank you…thank you very much!”

And with that, he didn’t say another word but smiled and went back to his Suburban and grabbed another dozen roses out–white this time–and started searching out his next random recipient.

To the Mr. Man who gave me flowers down in SLC because I was “a beautiful woman who deserved something lovely”— thank you! I love my pink roses. Especially since they were gifted from some random guy.

As I drove away a bit stunned by his generosity, I started reminiscing about the whole idea of love and the tokens of expression we use to signify our feelings.

LOVE can sometimes be a four letter word. We mock it when we don’t have it, devalue it to make it seem less important, and think that for the most part, it’s not that big of a deal to make such a big deal about. We want it desperately at times but when it requires work, it seems to become a burden, asking more of us than we think should be required.

LOVE can be a four letter word to a lot of people on Valentines Day. We can scoff at the idea of flowers, candy, or teddy bears as true symbols of what LOVE really is…and what is it? Well, who am I to put a definition on something as broad, all encompassing, and vastly variable to so many different kinds of people?

I will admit that LOVE has been a four letter word to myself from time to time. I thought that LOVE would be the one thing that would carry me through difficult situations, my LOVE for others would help influence or change their hearts. Not true. I’ve learned over the years that giving LOVE is so much different than receiving it…or expecting it. I’ve had to let go many of my own misconceptions around how I thought people should LOVE me in return. But yet again, who am I to dictate to others how they should LOVE?

You can feel betrayed by LOVE, feel lost and abandoned through LOVE, have your heart broken time and time again by LOVE, and it can leave you cursing the very idea of ever trying or wanting to be in LOVE again.

But you do.

Try it again, that is.

Because nothing is more rewarding or fulfilling as being in LOVE. Which is why it makes the best kind of four letter word out there.

All growed up

Posted on by angelbrew

thinking

I’m a little sick to my stomach today. Just thought I would share that. My stomach has been doing flips and flops all night long, mainly because I think the sickness that was rapidly rotating through members of my family finally caught up to me in some form or another. It could also be a little bit due to stress. Maybe just ever so slightly due to stress…

Not that I’m stressed, heavens no! I know exactly what I’m doing these days. I’ve got a job that will last me forever – as long as I move. I’ve got a home that I’ll love forever – until it sells some day here soon. I’ve got The Guy who will be – oh wait…

I was reminiscing the other day how I used to long for the days when I could finally be an adult and do whatever in the heck I wanted. I remember being 11 and wishing I was 21 so I could have my own car, go wherever I wanted to, and not have to do whatever my parents told me to do. Clean my room? Naaaaah. Think I’ll just go hang out with friends. Go to bed early? No way, Jose. I like the night life. I like to boogie. Practice the piano? Uggggh. Can’t I just go outside and play?

Man, that was the life. My hardest decisions were all around cleaning my room (to avoid my parents unholy wrath), practicing the piano, playing soccer and volleyball, doing homework, and getting to bed early. Nowadays, I LONG to get to bed early, I relish any time I get to play the piano, I wish I could play volleyball every day, and having things clean at home is a top priority. 

Oh no! I have grown up and become a BORING ADULT. 🙂

Actually, I am a stressed out boring adult who tries to make herself interesting. Gotta give props to myself for trying, right? Perhaps I am not too boring, I mean, everyone I work with is VERY interested in my life these days. And I wonder why…hmmm…I think it has something to do with blue boxes like these:

tiffany-box

After getting back from my vacation last week with The Guy, I think I have been approached no less than 38 times with people fixated on a certain finger on my left hand. I immediately know their game and have to have a little bit of fun with them. I will talk for minutes on end with my arms crossed just so they can’t get a glimpse.

“Hey, Angie! How was your cruise last week? You’re looking a little tan.” (quick glance to my hand, crestfallen gaze as they realize I’ve got it covered up)

“Oh my goodness, it was so much fun! A week goes by faster than you think.”

“Uh huh, uh huh. [head nodding up and down – they’re not really paying attention to anything I say…the stare just continues]. That sounds like fun. [What does, exactly? I haven’t said anything I’ve done yet!] So, any big events take place?” (the sly grins come out in full force)

“Big events? Well, I wasn’t kidnapped by the drug cartel as you can obviously determine. I did do a little parasailing, jet skiing, and zip lining which was a riot.”

“Riiiiiight. Well, I meant something of a more permanent nature.” (head nod towards my arms folded across my chest)

“Permanent? Why are you nodding at my chest? No, I did not get a boob job.” (suddenly the face flushes red and the nervous laughter starts)

“No, no! That’s not what I meant! Ha ha…hmmm…ha ha, you’re funny. I was thinking something more along the lines of life changes, maybe with some new jewelry attached…”

“Well, I thought about piercing my belly button for all of about two seconds. But then I realized that I was in Mexico and I may just get some horrid disease that will make my belly button turn green and I’ll have raging fevers where I speak rapidly in Spanish. That and also I hate needles – with a passion. So I just picked up a couple of anklets from little street vendors.”

By this time, I have thoroughly and completely exhausted my colleagues and they just kind of sigh and say, “Well, I’m glad you had fun.”

“Sure did. Thanks for asking!” And as I walk away I wave at them…with my right hand.

There are those who are a bit more abrupt and just drop by my cube and blurt out, “Where’s the ring?” 

I pretend to break out in fake tears and crumple over onto my desk. Okay, so I only did that once because the guywho blurted out that question has been ASKING ME THAT for the past 5 months! Give it a  rest, Mikey. Believe me, should that day ever come, word will spread like wildfire. And mainly because there are only about 100 of us left in our building. 

Sigh…my stomach is grumbly. Sure wish I had something on my mind to distract me from the pain – HA! 

Ah, to be 11 again.

What fools these men be

Posted on by angelbrew

confusion

So I borrowed a line from Shakespeare and turned it around a little bit. It’s still a true statement {all women reading this right now, nod your head and raise your hand in agreement}.  Men, men, men, men, men – what do you do with them? Those of us that are of the fairer sex agree that we love your rugged manliness, your musky aroma, the five o’clock shadow that falls across your face so frequently {as long as you shave it off – the facial abrasion we get is not an endearing substitute for microdermabrasion}. Yes, certain qualities that only you can possess as testosterone driven mortals can drive us wild – and make us completely crazy. 

Listen, we love ya, but man you men can be stupid sometimes. Maybe stupid is too harsh a word, perhaps I should go with dim-witted. Clueless would work too. Some of what you do makes us scratch our head on a daily basis. If you happen to observe us giving you “The Look” too frequently, maybe you might think about why “The Look” is being deployed. It’s not because we simply like to contort our face.  

I have found that my capacity for patience has grown by LEAPS and BOUNDS over the past 13 months thanks to the opposite sex. This is a great benefit and also a fantastic curse. Because apparently when an individual finally gets a clue and realizes that their significant other is exhibiting great patience on their behalf, they find little ways to exploit it. No specific example is needed. If you are a woman who has ever dated a guy, you know the truth that I speak. 

However, I have to admit that we {women} also find ways to exploit your stupidity or just plain ignorance when it comes to relationships. Ask a woman if she’s ever dropped a hint, whether by ingenious subtle design or basic smacking her guy over the head with a sledgehammer, about what gift she would like to receive for her birthday/Christmas/Valentines Day/anniversary. We have to try and plant the idea seed deep within your masculine brain and water it carefully so your thoughts on the idea will be oh so Peter Pan-ish: “Oh, the cleverness of me!”

For instance, take this little item right here:

holdpurple1I blogged about wanting this little baby for Christmas. And I happened to carefully mention it to The Guy over a six week strategic period. He, famously, is a technological freak; anything that is tiny/large/ginormous and electronic in nature – he wants it. He mentioned a few times to me that he was going to buy himself a new ipod for when he travels.  “That’s a great idea! You need a new one because your old one is from 2007 – sooo outdated. I like the new nanos, myself. The purple one is so cute!” {dig, dig, plant, plant} “You’re such a girl. Everything is always pink or purple with you, isn’t it?” 

I inserted brief 2.7 second conversations about the cute/adorable/cool/purplish nano in a variety of topics, never talking about it effusely, just enough that I knew he started to pay attention as Christmas got closer. And guess what I got Christmas Day from him? 🙂 When I opened it, I of course exclaimed, “Oh my gosh! How did you even know I wanted one?” “I heard you mention it a couple of times briefly and I knew you would never think I’d buy it for you {“Oh, the cleverness of me!”}. Plus, I could personalize it with a nice Angel-A message. I did a good job, eh? Not bad for a guy.”

Oh no, The Guy, not bad at all.

For You {to make you smile}

Posted on by angelbrew

I Like You – Sandol Stoddard

book excerpt

I like you

And I know why

I like you because

You are a good person

To like

I like you because

When I tell you something special

You know it’s special

And you remember it

A long long time

 

You say

Remember when you told me

Something special

 

And both of us remember

 

When I think something is important

You think it’s important too

            We have good ideas

 

I like you because

You know where I’m ticklish

And you don’t tickle me there

            except

            Just a little tiny bit

            sometimes

But if you do then I know where to tickle you too

 

You know how to be silly

That’s why I like you

Boy are you ever silly

I never met anybody sillier than me

            till I met you

I like you because

You know when it’s time to stop being silly

Maybe day after tomorrow

Maybe never

Oops too late

It’s quarter past silly

 

We fool around the same way all the time

Sometimes we don’t say a word

We snurkle under fences

We spy secret places

 

If I am a goofus on the roofus

Hollering my head off

You are one too

If I am getting ready to pop a paper bag

Then you are getting ready to jump

HOORAY

That’s because

You really like me

You really like me

Don’t you

And I really like you back

And you like me back

And I like you back

And that’s the way we keep on going

Every day

The unveiling

Posted on by angelbrew

By now, those of you who had no idea what The Guy looked like now have a pretty good indication because of my trip pictures I posted below. For many in my family, this is the first time they’ve ever seen so much of him! Yes, hard to believe that with all the time I’ve spent with him there has yet to be more – ahem, any – time spent with my family. Great guy but incredibly shy. It boggles my mind, it really does. So if any of you have suggestions or ideas on how to “break the ice” so to speak on getting him convinced to come to a Sunday dinner or two, please – pass along your advice. I’m out of ammo in my arsenal.

The Guy has, however, met my parents and he very much enjoyed the experience (after it was over 🙂 ). In all seriousness, he really liked the parentals, especially my stoic, serious, never-cracks-a-joke Dad. For those that know, my Dad can’t help but be hilarious and he put The Guy at ease right away. Not to mention they could swap football stories (The Guy played in high school and in college).

Here are some other interesting factoids about The Guy you might be interested in:

  • He is 1″ taller than me; sigh…so much for finding that 6’5″ guy to tower over a me, a 5’10” girl.
  • He is 8 years older than me, never been married.
  • He was born in Miami and thus is a die hard Miami Dolphins fan (sucks for him seeing as how they won just one single game last season).
  • He is also a die hard Cubs fan which means that my bro-in-law Dave considers him his mortal enemy seeing as how Dave is a Cardinals fan (ah well, conflict is good, right?).
  • He is one speedy runner – he puts me to shame; He ran track in high school and held for a moment in time the state record for the 400m dash (I think it was that distance…). One other note on this: he bugs the heck out of me when we go running together and starts toying with my speed. I try to tell him, “I am long distance, buddy, not Speedy Gonzales.” He’ll just bound along like it’s no big deal. Aarrgghh – I hate you…when you do that. 😉
  • He owns a wholesale art company and frame shop. Yes, for those who know that that was my first job and that I am a big lover and supporter of the arts (my undergrad? Painting & Drawing BFA), this is too uncanny. He also knows my first boss, has for years, and they made the connection regarding me just a couple of months ago. Thankfully, my old boss didn’t say anything mean (how could he, right? haha!).
  • He has 9 siblings total in his family – between full, step, and half, and he’s the second oldest.
  • Favorite color? Blue. Picky eater? You betcha.
  • He has the deepest blue eyes you ever did see (women on the cruise would stare – I laughed, he blushed).
  • He is a die hard BYU fan. Yes, this has been a good debate between the two of us seeing as how I am a die hard Ute fan. He won’t even wear red, he’s so against them. However, he is not a poor sport when it comes to the classic rivalry, meaning he doesn’t think everything his team does is gold and they should never have fouls or penalties called against them. He at least can be somewhat reasonable in that regard.
  • His favorite place in the whole world? Hawaii – he’s a huge Magnum P.I. fan.
  • He is a huge music afficionado – everything is music to him and he finds meaning in so many songs (hello? remember this post?) and often comments that he could produce music better than “the other guys”.
  • He’s a pilot – loves, loves, LOVES to fly and at one time wanted to be an airline jet pilot. He has models of jetliners, is addicted to his Flight Simulator, and can tell you the flight patterns out of many cities, what their runways look like, etc.
  • He’s pretty cute, but that’s just my personal opinion. 🙂

The Interview, Part I

Posted on by angelbrew

 

So many people are interested in The Guy – who he is, what he does, why he lives and breathes, is he tall, is he short, does his double-jointed thumb bother me…hmmm, so many questions. I told The Guy I would never put anything on here that would intentionally embarrass him. But I never said anything about putting information on here that could hypothetically embarrass him – or at the very least, share a little bit of what makes him HIM and why I like him so much. I’m thinking an interview would work best:

Moi: Well, hello there, The Guy.

The Guy: Hi there, Angel-A.

Moi: I’m going to ask you a few questions because inquiring minds want to know: who are you and what makes you tick? You’re kind of reclusive, a little shy for some of my family’s taste.

The Guy (smiling sheepishly): Oh gosh, I can’t believe you’re actually going to do this. I AM shy around people I don’t know!

Moi: Yes, most people are. That’s why we have dinners so we can get to know others better – hint, hint.

The Guy: Yeah, I know…

Moi: Moving on, since you are so eager to talk on this topic…What was it about me that made you think, ‘Hmm, I want to date this girl’. I mean, was it my effervescent personality, my statuesque frame, my cunning mind?

The Guy (laughing): No, it wasn’t!

Moi (a bit crestfallen): Oh, I see…

The Guy (backpeddling now): Wait! Not that I didn’t see those things but I was more attracted to how you put words together. You’re a smart girl and without a doubt that’s your most attractive trait to me {Editor’s note: this part is an actual quote from him, not something entirely made up by me}.

Moi: So, I guess I should be happy that you were attracted to my mind more than my body.

The Guy: Isn’t that what most girls want? You are cute, too, I’ll give you that.

Moi: Gee. Thanks, The Guy.

The Guy: Well, I could ask you the same question: What was it about me that made you so interested to want to get to know me better?

Moi: Let me think, let me think…I know there’s got to be some groundbreaking reason here…Well, you do have very nice eyes. But that’s not why I liked you. You made me laugh, pure and simple. And you challenge me. I’m not talking frustration (although you do frustrate me at times), I’m more along the lines of ‘Wow, he’s not some puppy dog guy who agrees with everything I say. He’s pretty fun to have a good conversation with!’

The Guy: Yes, this is true, I am pretty amazing.

Moi: And so humble.

The Guy: It’s hard to be humble when you are this good (taps hands on chest).

Moi: Humph. Yeah. It’s so hard to be you.

The Guy (laughing again): You know I’m teasing you! It’s what you like best about me!

Moi: Sigh…yes, I can’t help it. But you’re the one who finally decided to commit to a relationship here. I figure you have to be a little smart to not let me go. {said with a wicked grin}

The Guy: All I can say is that since I met you almost two years ago, you have always been on my mind. You just have. For whatever reason, I wasn’t really ready to date steadily and then when I heard that song in December, it just hit me that if I didn’t act now, I may never have the chance to. I already told you how I listened to that song a hundred times before I started calling you regularly.

Moi: Yes, you did. And it only took me three weeks to drag it out of you on what the song was that made you come around!

The Guy: Hey, I don’t give up too much information. I’m a pretty slow mover and I’ll give you what I can as we move along here.

Moi (said with a smile): You know I’m going to push you to do more.

The Guy (blushing, smiling): You already have.

Next time, in The Interview, Part II, I think we’ll go into a bit more detail on family, travel, and what the future holds. Wait – no. I think I’ll just stick with the first two for awhile. No need to rush anything. 😉

I’ll spill the beans on this

Posted on by angelbrew

Remember how I had a little post on a certain someone I was dating, and how that certain someone heard a song and it reminded him of me? Well, I should say it was written more as a narrative (I mean, I do write for a living…got to have a little fun with reality every once in awhile).

Thanks to that song, The Guy was motivated to try having a relationship with moi. I say “try having a relationship” because he had not been in a relationship (you know, the boyfriend/girlfriend type) for quite some time and had kind of lost interest and patience for it. He is, notoriously, a 39 year old bachelor. Yes, the gasps I just heard from my “audience” are warranted. Having 39 years of singlehood -well, okay, technically I can’t count the first 18 – it makes a girl think. He is without a doubt used to doing things his way. But then he met me. 🙂 And according to him, I was “irrestible”(little inside joke on the misspelling of irresistible – sorry, just purely for my pleasure I did this).

For those who would like to know what song pushed him over the edge, made him reconsider his solitary happiness and consider a partnership, you can check out the song here. And if you’d like to read the lyrics, you may take a gander here. Let’s just say that the first stanza of the song and the last were very significant for him. Sometimes the power of music can say things you couldn’t verbalize otherwise. Praise be to the almighty word in song! Without it, there may not be many of you out there. 😉

“I coulda been a contenda”

Posted on by angelbrew

Dear Sadly Confused and Tragically Late Sir,

We are sorry that your request* has been denied but it appears that you neglected to negotiate your time well with the intended object of your affections. Case in point: on several occasions, said OYA (object of your affection) asked for a phone call or follow up email after an initial meeting with you. You delayed your response time immeasurably. OYA’s are notoriously picky and in great need of attention to be assured that your interest is not one of waning fancy.

We do understand that there are several models of OYA’s on the market today that have no problem driving the intended relationship that you are seeking. However, they tend to need a lot of oil and maintenance due to excessive whining. Unfortunately for you, this particular OYA in which you were previously interested is off the market. We doubt that another make and model of this caliber will be available in the near future but we do wish you happiness in the pursuit of, well, happiness.

*Request submitted: lunches, text messages, erratic phone calls, and blatant adoration – DENIED

                                                                                                 Kind regards,

                                                                                                 The Management of Human Affairs

(oh, how I wish I could send a letter like that off!)

Bath bliss for love amiss

Posted on by angelbrew

bubblebath.jpg

Sometimes there is nothing better than a being able to relax in an oversize bath and let the mounting bubbles obscure your view from trouble.  I love my tub with the swirling jets that encourage my Lush bath bombs and bath melts into heavenly bits of bliss. If you have never tried any of these products you are missing out on bathing nirvana. A personal favorite of mine is Amandopondo because the bubbles that amass out of that lovely piece of work are the most luxurious, the most sensuous and most skin-tantalizing bubbles you could ever want!

But I am not intending this post to be all about the products and why you should buy them (unless some Lush rep is reading this and wants to send me free products for touting their wares). Instead, I happened to be sent into a different avenue of reflection that started when I used my Romance in a Stone (sadly, now discontinued) bath bomb. It’s a lovely ball with dried rose petals in it and also one nice little surprise – a little quote/poem/saying that is romantic in nature. It is buried deep within the ball so that you can only access it once your entire bomb has dissipated into your bath water. I forgot about this little treasure as I was enjoying my bath and at first when I noticed this floating piece of parchment, I was ready to toss it out for the garbage that it appeared to be. But I remembered about the bath bomb’s “secret” and eagerly opened it up to see if it might be something that could inspire.

She thought how his armour would blaze in the sun,  As he rode like a prince to claim his bride. In the sweet dim light of the falling night She found him at her side. She had dreamed how the gaze of his strange bold eye Would wake her heart to a sudden glow.  She found in his face the familiar grace Of a friend she used to know. She had dreamed how his coming would stir her soul,  As the ocean is stirred by the wild storm’s strife.  He brought her the balm of a heavenly calm,  And a peace which crowned her life.  Ella Wheeler Wilcox – ‘Love’s Coming’

If ever there were words I needed to hear and find some comfort – or hope – in, here they were. I LOVE this brief sonnet and the description of two lovers found. Perhaps its because as girls, we envision that ‘knight in shining armor’ and sometimes we can get too lost in the search. Instead, the “familiar grace of a friend” may be just what we need to find that “balm of a heavenly calm”.  

lovepoem.jpg