What fools these men be

confusion

So I borrowed a line from Shakespeare and turned it around a little bit. It’s still a true statement {all women reading this right now, nod your head and raise your hand in agreement}.  Men, men, men, men, men – what do you do with them? Those of us that are of the fairer sex agree that we love your rugged manliness, your musky aroma, the five o’clock shadow that falls across your face so frequently {as long as you shave it off – the facial abrasion we get is not an endearing substitute for microdermabrasion}. Yes, certain qualities that only you can possess as testosterone driven mortals can drive us wild – and make us completely crazy. 

Listen, we love ya, but man you men can be stupid sometimes. Maybe stupid is too harsh a word, perhaps I should go with dim-witted. Clueless would work too. Some of what you do makes us scratch our head on a daily basis. If you happen to observe us giving you “The Look” too frequently, maybe you might think about why “The Look” is being deployed. It’s not because we simply like to contort our face.  

I have found that my capacity for patience has grown by LEAPS and BOUNDS over the past 13 months thanks to the opposite sex. This is a great benefit and also a fantastic curse. Because apparently when an individual finally gets a clue and realizes that their significant other is exhibiting great patience on their behalf, they find little ways to exploit it. No specific example is needed. If you are a woman who has ever dated a guy, you know the truth that I speak. 

However, I have to admit that we {women} also find ways to exploit your stupidity or just plain ignorance when it comes to relationships. Ask a woman if she’s ever dropped a hint, whether by ingenious subtle design or basic smacking her guy over the head with a sledgehammer, about what gift she would like to receive for her birthday/Christmas/Valentines Day/anniversary. We have to try and plant the idea seed deep within your masculine brain and water it carefully so your thoughts on the idea will be oh so Peter Pan-ish: “Oh, the cleverness of me!”

For instance, take this little item right here:

holdpurple1I blogged about wanting this little baby for Christmas. And I happened to carefully mention it to The Guy over a six week strategic period. He, famously, is a technological freak; anything that is tiny/large/ginormous and electronic in nature – he wants it. He mentioned a few times to me that he was going to buy himself a new ipod for when he travels.  “That’s a great idea! You need a new one because your old one is from 2007 – sooo outdated. I like the new nanos, myself. The purple one is so cute!” {dig, dig, plant, plant} “You’re such a girl. Everything is always pink or purple with you, isn’t it?” 

I inserted brief 2.7 second conversations about the cute/adorable/cool/purplish nano in a variety of topics, never talking about it effusely, just enough that I knew he started to pay attention as Christmas got closer. And guess what I got Christmas Day from him? 🙂 When I opened it, I of course exclaimed, “Oh my gosh! How did you even know I wanted one?” “I heard you mention it a couple of times briefly and I knew you would never think I’d buy it for you {“Oh, the cleverness of me!”}. Plus, I could personalize it with a nice Angel-A message. I did a good job, eh? Not bad for a guy.”

Oh no, The Guy, not bad at all.

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6 comments

  1. Amy · January 13, 2009

    Very impressive! Not quite what I was hoping you would get but if he is giving you electronics he must really love you!

  2. Jeff · January 21, 2009

    Are you kidding me? You thought you were dropping hints all the time about the nano? lol I had planned on this gift since last July. LAST JULY! I was praying you would not buy one for yourself. If you had bought a nano for yourself I would have felt bad, because I had already had an idea what I wanted to ingrave on the back. So, I would constantly say “I would love a new nanao” that would be sooooooooooo cool. Trying to take your mind to a place where you were thinking. “This guy only thinks of himself….. I did it to throw you off. I was kind of upset that you did not mention the other things I bought you. These other things I bought, were because I “pay attention”… You never expected them. My point is this. Guys are not as dumb as women would think. We do pay atttention. ohhh By the way, I droped hints from July to December that I wanted a nano for Christmas. I never got one?

    God Bless Men!

  3. angelbrew · January 21, 2009

    Wow, you actually read my blog – I’m slightly impressed. And I’m so sure you were planning on this gift since last July considering the new nanos were released in SEPTEMBER. But that’s okay, I don’t want to take away from the fact that I knew at least one present I would be getting from you. The others were very thoughtful, true, but they didn’t really add much to my story so thus, they got axed. Besides, I already told you how surprised I was and very impressed by the thoughtfulness you did put into them; I just didn’t want to appear braggy on my blog (I can only do that so much, you know). Besides, my 6 readers were expecting me to get something ELSE for Christmas so I thought I would take the gift thing a different direction.

    Oh yes, and about all those “subtle hints” you dropped about wanting a little black nano? Let’s see, what was it Jeffery got in early-mid-late December? Surprise birthday party, celebration trip to Miami, and still more gifts at Christmas. Wah-wah.

    Women totally rock.

  4. Jeff · January 21, 2009

    Now let me correct you. The “NANO” you wanted came out in SEPT. The Nano was still a was stil a desrire of yours in July. It just was not the new nano… So, yes I was planning on the nano since last July.

    God Bless men! We are not as dumb or thoughtless as you women think.

  5. angelbrew · January 21, 2009

    From your mouth to God’s ear.

  6. Amy · January 26, 2009

    Oh my gosh! Halirious! Jeff, us women, we have it figured out! How do you think that I got a house full of furniture for Christmas? Just kept dropping hints that the kitchen table is going to break. Then I took the next step. No more tools or toys until the house is decorated.

    We are trained from birth (by your own mother even!) on how to get what we want. We know all the tricks. Trust me, I’m your sister. I would never lead you astray. But this is why marriage works! We know how to make everything mesh and flow. Its just a natural thing.

    However, I will give you credit. You did really good with the present! I’m impressed…

    Good boy. Let’s go find you a treat!

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