Yesterday I got into quite a funny conversation at Caden’s soccer game. A few of us moms were chatting about the typical stuff–school, shopping, hair (“This little blue-haired lady at my salon was bragging how she went to Europe and her hair stayed set for 10 days. Ten days! Of not washing your hair! Why would you brag about something like that?”)–when we got on the topic of our boys. Boys, we all agreed, were disgusting, smelly, hairy, lovable little creatures.
“My son,” said one mom, “came up to me the other day holding his arms up and joyfully exclaiming, ‘Look! I’m getting hair under my arms!’ I didn’t want to point out to him that the hair he thought he saw was microscopic.”
“Oh my gosh, Caden does the SAME thing!” I replied. “Except he came up to me one day out of the shower, lifted up his arm and said, ‘Mom, look! DOTS! I am becoming a MAN.'”
Just at that moment, one of our boys comes running across the field, jostling another boy for the ball, and we heard him say, “Hey,watch it! You’re rubbing my arm hair off! It’s taken me THIRTEEN years to grow that stuff!”
We all just started cracking up and I turned to his mom and laughingly asked, “So, was Holt in the womb that long? I mean, thirteen years for a ten year old is a serious amount of time.”
As we kept up the conversation around our sons, we of course came to hygiene. Boys, unlike girls, are just DIRTY. I mean dirt, grime, dust, mud, grass, slime, blood,sweat, fungus type of dirty. I have to constantly harangue Caden to shower daily because he would probably go days (heaven to think WEEKS) without showering because it “takes too much time”.
One of the other moms shared the story of her son who can’t stand to wash his hair, he thinks it’s a waste of time. She will have to ask to smell his hair just to make sure he does it. “One time he didn’t want to take a full shower but knew I would smell his head. So he just stuck his head under the sink, washed it with shampoo, and came back out! The little stinker…literally!”
Ah, boys. You are happiest when you are getting covered in heavens-knows-what but for us mothers, you can drive us crazy with your sublime grime.
Caden knows I’ve griped at him for not having more “cleanliness” about him. He asked me once, “Mom, did you really want a boy? Or would you rather have had a girl? Because boys are so messy.”
I grabbed his little face and said, “I didn’t know what I wanted until I saw you. Then I knew you were EXACTLY what I wanted. And I wouldn’t change that for a million bajillion dollars.”
I did, however, bribe him with washing his hair by taking him to the store and saying, “Pick ANY shampoo you want. Any one! I will get it for you and you can use a shampoo that doesn’t have a cartoon character on it.”
Immediately, Caden goes over to the AXE Effect shampoos and says, “This is the one I want! I am going to smell good. Plus, the girls are gonna love me.”
Congratulations, AXE marketing folks. Your commercials worked. My 9 year old knows women will go crazy if he smells like an AXE man. I can’t say that I hate it…because at least now he is clean. 🙂 And I don’t have to fight him over it.