Hogtied and sleep deprived

That is the perfect way to describe the last week of my life. I’ve been conspicuously absent from posting every day or every other day because essentially my life has been about one thing and one thing only: WORK. I’m not talking work that you have to do day in and day out. I mean my very profession that keeps me gainfully employed (at least for while…but let’s not talk about that again).

I’ve mentioned before that I work in a company that is fairly large and global and because of the nature of the beast, I sometimes work strange hours. Usually this is because my colleagues are located in Malaysia or Israel or Ireland and I adjust to help meet the differences in time zone. But the project that has essentially glued me to my laptop for the past 10 days has a U.S. based team. Yet just last Thursday I found myself on a phone call from 12:30 a.m. to 1:15 a.m. to address some issues on a project that takes flight tomorrow.

Ai yi yi! It has been a difficult and emotional week because working from 5:30 a.m. to past midnight every day will make you go nearly nuts/bonkers/achingly insane. It’s a project that may garner some very good recognition but it has just about sucked me dry. So therefore I have had no posts for over a week – because the well in my brain had run dry and there was no way I could contemplate spending anymore time on my laptop just to say hi. Although I almost did make a quick post to say, “No, I’m not dead – yet.”

The interesting end to my week is this: I am all alone. I have peace, quiet, solitude, freedom that doesn’t come along very often. Caden is off with grandparents up in Idaho at a reunion and I will meet them up there Tuesday at our lovely cabin in Island Park, ID. The Guy is in Atlanta at a trade show until Tuesday evening so no need to travel across the valley to spend time with each other. No church activities or responsibilities to tie up my weekend of just-me-time. It has been strangely wonderful and also somewhat disconcerting. I realized that I’m used to a cacophony of sound inhabiting my daily life – and this because I have a 7 year old boy who is not quiet. At first I relished the crashing wave of silence. And then it started to disturb as my mind began to wonder, ‘Where is he?’ Too often as mothers (and parents in general) we hear silence and think, “Uh oh, trouble.” I realized I’ve become accustomed to hearing something and I had to remind myself repeatedly that I needed to enjoy four days of QUIET. I’m still trying to get used to it, I have to admit…but I’m sure when it’s gone and back to normal, I’ll realize I should have paid more attention to the nothingness. Or not.


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