Annus mirabilis – 2008

In my haste to jump into January, I have neglected to “talk” about what everybody else is talking about these days: resolutions. Like death and taxes, New Year resolutions are to be counted on – just don’t expect them to be met. Some people refuse to write resolutions or goals (as I more aptly like to call them) because they don’t want the pressure or guilt of not completing what they wanted to do. I personally enjoy setting goals for the year because it gives me something else to push for beyond just the normal day to day which usually contains  1) getting Caden to school on time, 2) reading my scriptures, 3) working hard, 4) running hard, 5) cleaning/straightening home, and perpetually working on 6) being a better parent. Hello? Where are my French lessons? My need to travel every 8 weeks? Personal improvement?

During a brief break I had today at work, a few fellow co-workers were all discussing New Year Resolutions. Guess what No. 1 was? If you said “Lose weight”, give yourself a 782 points and an Almond Roca. But there were other less predictable resolutions that made my head snap around and the following is a snapshot of one discussion I happened to over hear.

Co-worker #1: Sure, everybody wants to lose weight but I actually want to gain some!

Co-worker #2: You want to gain weight? Why in the *%@# would you want to do that?!?

Co-worker #1: I’ve decided that 2008 is the time to make my boobs great. Four kids, two divorces, and one puppy later I deserve to be a little perky. No more dowdy housewife look; I’m going for the Pamela Anderson Deluxe.

Co-worker #2: That’s your goal -a bigger breast size. You’re seriously considering this? Sweetie, your saggy Double D’s ain’t that small. Why on earth would you want to go bigger??

Co-worker #1: I don’t want to go bigger; I want to go better. I’m getting a lift and possibly a reduction, I think. I’m tired of tucking these babies into my belt every morning.

Some people choose to broaden their horizons each New Year by reading Chaucer, or committing to save more, or contributing time to a variety of community enhancing projects. Others look more inward, or, in this case, downward. To each his own. Whatever your New Year’s Resolutions may be (or not be), set your sights on something you really want. Even if it’s entirely made of silicone.


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