Or not. No, don’t call me Al. That would be my sister’s nickname that we sibs have given her, unlike all of her friends who know her as Allie (and we all raise our eyebrows and go, “Who the heck is Allie?”). But after looking at the pixie names below, it reminded me of how some people can go horribly wrong in naming their children. Let’s start with Magnus.
Now Magnus is kind of a cool name, especially if you have the genetic predisposition to grow up to be 8 ft tall with bushy red hair and bristling biceps. Hmm, maybe that is why Will Ferrell named his son Magnus. But let’s think about it from a nickname perspective, shall we? What’s this kid going to be called? Mags? Maggie? Big M? Nus? Or what about another celebrity baby name, Audio. You named your kid after a sound system. While invariably unique, it’s completely wacko. You know who named their baby this? That girl from A Knight’s Tale who used to be a DJ. Ummmmm….kay.
I understand parents wanting their child to have a name that 5 bazillion other kids won’t have at school. Growing up I was the only Angie or Angela until I hit junior high. Then there were two more. But so what? Didn’t bother me. But ask me how many Matt’s or Dave’s or Ashley’s or Amy’s there were. However, parents who desperately want their child to stand out or think it’s cute to spell a common name uncommonly have watched one too many episodes of Mr. Rogers singing, “You’re Special”. Let me give you an example. I worked in healthcare for a number of years and saw incredibly strange and cool names on patient records. I remember one lady whose name was True Love (her married name was Love). And I remember one baby girl patient whose name was Tyfane. No, it wasn’t Ty-Fane. But her parents seemed to think it was extremely clever on their part to misspell “Tiffany”. Completely bizarre and unnecessary, if you ask me. How many times in her life is she going to have to explain, “You say it like Tiffany”?
Names have been on my mind as in my Branch we have had 1 or 2 babies born every week for the past two and a half months. There is a baby due just about every week until the third week in March! It’s crazy. I think baby carriers are starting to outnumber people. But back to names. Here’s a list of some of the most recent baby names given to these bundles of joy: Addison, Morgan, Drake, Jamison, Haven, Calissa, Sawyer, Jensen, Cooper, Henry, Breck, and Olive. A couple may be interesting but I think overall, they’re not entirely insane names. The little baby girl whose name is Haven is so adorable I keep hoping her parents will forget her on the bench at church and I’ll pick her up and take care of her. Well, I sometimes wish that when I see adorable baby girl clothes. But in actuality her parents need not fear; I enjoy sleeping through the night too much right now.
So to sum up, names are interesting beasts of necessity (and some of them are quite beasty). You have to have one unless you just like being called “You” as in “Hey, ___”. Or maybe you’d like to be “That Guy” or “That Girl”. But whatever your name is, I hope you are proud of it (but if you’re not you can always go see that guy in a black robe at court to become John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt).