I have been sick the past couple of days and have wished more than once that I could pull my esophagus out of my throat instead of feel the pain of the chopped up hamburger meat it appears to be. Tonight I went to my local neighborhood market to purchase some Chloraseptic with the hopes that it would deaden my painful throat.
To understand just how painful it was, I was starting to have panic attacks anytime it felt like I was going to cough because the pain just ricocheted throughout my body. As I was standing over my sink spraying away with the Chloraseptic, it triggered the gag reflex and I started to choke – quite a bit. Caden was sitting on the couch watching me, wrapped up in a blanket. After a few prolonged seconds of grotesque gagging, I started to feel the numbing effects of the medicine. And I heard some wimpering from the couch.
I looked over at the couch and saw Caden had covered himself in the blanket and was hidden from view. I walked over to see if he was okay and as he turned toward me and brought his head out of the covers, his eyes were full of tears.
“What’s wrong, buddy? Why are you so upset?”
With all the innocence of an absolutely pure-hearted child, he looked up with tears streaming down his cheeks and cried, “I don’t want you to die!”
Oh my sweet, sweet boy. He was so upset by seeing me wracked with coughing and choking spells that he was convinced I must be dying – and it absolutely terrified him. I grabbed him up in my arms and rocked him back and forth, reassuring him that I was not dying at all, that I was just sick and was trying to get some medicine in my throat to make me feel better. He sobbed for almost ten minutes and my heart just ached that he had thought the worst was happening right before his eyes.
Life is so tender and precious and we never know what may happen from one moment to the next. All we can do is be grateful for what we have the opportunity to experience every single day. And today I was grateful I could hold my little boy in my arms and comfort him.