Sometimes a faint light

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There is a star in the sky that is called Van Biesbroeck’s star. It is considered the faintest star in the sky and was almost deemed to be a planet since it’s luminosity was so dim. Yet it is as big as the Earth but emits light at only a fraction – .002 to be exact – of what the sun emits on a daily basis. So, here we have two things juxtaposed: tiny light, massive object. It’s there, hanging in the sky, just barely being noticed from time to time. But yet still big enough to notice from 19 light years away. Which at the same time makes it this incredibly brilliant and intense object.

How I feel like I am similar to Van Biesbroeck’s star in many ways…all at once being this incredible, captivating entity and yet so far away anyone has to put forth quite the effort to recognize what it truly is. Yet at the same time I feel a different kinship for another way of viewing the star, like I am faintly glowing, burned out at both ends and just this “object” you can see from a distance. Small flashes of brilliance emanate from me but nobody has bothered to take a closer look – or I haven’t chosen to make a big deal out of it.

Of course I want people to notice the resplendent part, the incandescent, glittering intensity I can have. But admittedly that takes a lot of energy, and sometimes I find myself just not quite up to the task…

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