No joke, he said THIS

frustrated-boy.jpg

You’ve got to be kidding me. I honestly think the male species has lost their freaking mind! To those of you who are male and read this, well, take note of how not to have a conversation with a woman.

(Ring, ring)

“Hello?”

“You are a hard girl to get a hold of, you know that? Everytime I try to get a chance to talk to you, you are always off doing fun stuff without me. Weren’t you just in Or-e-gone?”

“Well, hello to you too —– (name with held – heretofore going to be referred to as M). I’m not that hard to get a hold of – just when I’m traveling my schedule gets thrown off at times.”

“Or you just forget about me because of all the other guys you’re dating.” (strike one)

“Whatever, M! Yes, I forget ALL the time who I talk to and when. Sheesh!”

“I’m just joking! I’m just joking! So, how was your busy-ness trip? I’m sure you came back with your little black book filled with new numbers.” (okay – what the heck?!? strike two)

“Oh for heaven’s sake – NO. I’m not really in the ‘pick up a guy and have fun’ type of mood when I’m on a business trip. I’m mentally and physically exhausted by the end of the day so all I want to do is come back to my room and veg – hit the spa or exercise room and then hit the hay.”

“Sure, sure…sounds like fun. Well, did I tell you that J—- is getting married? The poor sucker…”

“Wow – that’s exciting! I didn’t know he was even dating anyone.”

“Yeah, well, I do know that I’m nowhere near getting hitched myself. I really like being single, doing whatever I want, and I’m just not interested or ready to get married at this point. I figure I need to be the best kind of person I can be and I’m not ready for my wife to gripe and complain about how I want to watch sports or buy a new TV or go out with the guys. I like to listen to the radio when I go to sleep at night and I’m not ready to get married and say goodbye to all of that. And then I have to listen to her Every Single Day. I will never be alone again. Once those shackles are on, I want to be prepared to shoulder the burden.” (right – strike THREE)

“What in the world are you talking about? Are your friends marriages like that? Good grief! What type of girls do you date??? Yes, if that’s how you really feel you shouldn’t be getting married at all anytime soon. For heavens sake, guess what, M? Marriage is all about compromise and it’s great and it’s wonderful but it’s all about the give and take. You are most definitely not ready to give. If your future wife heard you talking like this, I’m thinking she’d be backing out right about now…”

And then we talked about a few more subjects, all related to relationships/marriage/men/women. M is somebody I was interested in for awhile but he’s become more or less a good friend as he can drive me absolutely insane with his ramblings on relationships. I get tired of how many times he insinuates that I date a million other guys besides him so therefore he must be looooow on the totem pole. Guys – little tip: don’t disparage the opposite sex when you are trying to build a relationship. Just a pointer that you might want to take to heart.

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