Ego, dear ego, you must be fed

I was reminded by a friend today of a site that I used to frequent a lot when it was first launched in 2000. I was working at the hospital when one of the registrars started talking about a site called Hot or Not. Yes, I can already hear the twitters and giggles starting. You know what this is! I remember the registrar, let’s call her Candy (you can take whatever implications you want from that pseudo name), well she began to explain what this site was.

“Oh my gosh, it’s like sooo cool! You can totally find out if people think you’re cute or not. And the best part is that there are all these uglies who think they’re hot, but they’re so totally not. I mean, like, totally, it’s the most awesome site EVER!!!”

And then she did a backflip and pulled a hurkey. No, just kidding, but her bobbing blonde head was excitedly pumping so hard I thought it might detach from her tiny spine.

“So, what do you do? You have to post your picture on the net?”

“Yes! And make sure you put the hottest picture you have on it so that your rating will be high. It’s totally embarassing if like, you’re rating is less than 8 – ew! I would absolutely die if I thought for one second I would be considered…average.” (said with a shudder)

“Did you already put yours up?” Stupid question, I know. Of course she already put it up and she wouldn’t be promoting it so heavily if in fact she wasn’t considered a “10”.

“I had my friend Heather (doesn’t everybody have a friend named Heather?) take my picture, like, 100 times or something with her boyfriend Steve’s new digital camera. It’s way cool, it has, like, 2 megapixels or something like that that makes me look twice as good. Steve’s friend Jason helped me pick out the one he thought looked the hottest, and then I asked Courtney, Sarah, and Josie their opinion too.”

“Uh huh…sorry, I got bored by your story for a minute there. What’s your rating?”

“OH MY GOSH, like I am totally a 9.7!!! Isn’t that so cool!?! And something like, ten thousand people have voted on me already.” I checked a few minutes later online – not 10,000, more like 1,000. That’s okay, Candy was  never good with decimals and things like commas, grammar, and syntax. That’s why she only dealt with people’s money when they came in for their surgery.

I have to admit with some amount of shame that it turned into a guilty pleasure for awhile. It was kind of fun scouring pages and pages of headshots/snapshots of people wanting to know “Do you think I’m hot or not?” Mainly because you would have been able to often hear me scoff, “Oh please! He thinks he’s hot? Whatever!” It was addicting –  passing down judgement without really being held accountable for what you were saying. “I dub thee hot…er, semi-hot. On a scale of 1-10, you are somewhere between a 6 and a 7.” Honestly…don’t most of us already know the answer to that ever prevailing hotness question? 🙂 Yet like most things in life (and by things, I mean celebrities), we need the ever constant approval of peers. I need to know! Am I hot or not??

Did I ever post my pic? Well, that’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? Of course, should you feel inclined to have your pretty face plastered in cyberspace for all to vote upon (Please, PLEASE tell me I’m BEAUTIFUL!), I’ve given the perfect outlet in which to satisfy your ego’s demands. Just don’t expect me to vote on you.


“The pursuit of beauty is much more dangerous nonsense than the pursuit of truth or goodness, because it affords a stronger temptation to the ego.”
Northrop Frye


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