I have been back on the dating scene for quite a few years now (more than I would to admit) and I’ve come to a serious conclusion: romance is dead. Yes folks, the age where people took the time to cultivate a relationship, prostrate themselves in front of their dearly intended, and go the extra mile to make a good impression has ceased to exist. At least from my perspective.
We have now entered the age of techno-love where actual human interaction – live, living, breathing, touching (hey, don’t get any ideas here) – is squelched by the flicker and glare of a computer screen or glow of a cell phone’s text message screen. Relationships happen via email, dates are set up via text message, and marriages occur online.
I want to clarify one thing about the “online” nature of relationships. I have several good friends/relatives who have met their spouse online and they are in happy, committed relationships. I don’t think that there is anything wrong with meeting people online (as long as you do it carefully – hire a PI, do a thorough background check, know their credit history, talk to their last girlfriend, etc.; if you think I jest…) but I just wanted to point out that there is serious problems with only maintaining a relationship online.
Am I complaining! Heck YES I’m complaining! I’ve met some pretty cool guys over the past 18 months and the one thing that turns me off faster than cold Toaster Streudel is when a guy won’t call; everything is text message this, text message that. Texting is great for quick communication, mon ami. “Hey, we’re meeting at Happy Sumo’s at 8 -b there.” Not, “So, how’s you’re day been? Anything new going on? We should do something soon. Write me!” Somehow, amid all the technological advancements, the roles have changed and men are becoming the needy ones. I know guys that have litmus tests – “If she doesn’t call me after I call her for the first date, I’m done. She needs to be the one to prove she likes me.” (insert an overall feeling of disdain here)
I am not asking for much, really I’m not. But I would like a guy to call and have a conversation from time to time that isn’t all broken up in parentheses and emoticons. I would like to be able to distinguish the sound of your voice on the phone when you call instead of playing the guessing game – “Hey, it’s me” “Oh! Hi, it’s…youuuu. How ya been?” (read frantic panicking and mental racking of brain for some sort of acknowledgement or hint of who this might be).
And here’s another thing: if we want to get to know each other better, progress in a regular relationship pattern, we have to go OUT. I’m not saying we need to have dates that would put the Rockefellers to shame, but spending time mono e mono is key. And don’t forget to have fresh breath (you’d be surprised at the number of men who forget this key aspect – I don’t want to get anywhere near your mouth, Sunshine, if it ain’t been spritzed up a bit). All I’m saying is that you can move mountains by showing a little bit of care and putting a teensy bit of thought into a date. I’m not looking for the “swept off my feet version” (although that would be nice) but I am looking for the “skip a heart beat” moments.